Whether you’re thinking about it, trying, or if it’s already time, we get it: Becoming a parent is a big deal. (Huge!) So rest assured—feeling a little overwhelmed about it all is totally normal, and you’re hardly alone.

Few people know this better than Erica Chidi Cohen. As a trained doula and the cofounder of Loom, a health education platform, she’s made a career out of guiding anxious parents-to-be through this whole process—and you better believe she’s heard just about every single question in the book (and then some).

So in the spirit of a little pre-pregnancy 101, we invited Erica to answer some of your biggest FAQs: from the realities of birth to building a pregnancy team you feel confident in.*

Class is in session below:

When will I feel “ready” to be a parent?

Spoiler alert: Most of us are more prepared than we give ourselves credit for.

Are there other options to consider aside from pregnancy?

“There are so many ways to start a family,” says Erica. (Hear, hear.)

What does a pregnancy team look like?

From Ob-Gyn to midwife, doula to acupuncturist, there are lots of great options when it comes to building a pregnancy support system. The most important aspect? That your team help you feel as comfortable and informed as possible throughout the entire process.

Should a certain kind of birth be the goal?

Erica makes the case for ditching any stigma around how you “should” give birth and opt for the method that’s right (and safest) for you.

How can I feel more relaxed about my experience?

In the midst of all the questions you have and the decisions you have to make, getting hung up on what you “should” be doing might just be stressing you out even more. The bottom line? A little gentleness can get you a long way.

References:

1. D.B. Dunson, D.D. Baird, A.J. Wilcox, C.R. Weinberg, Day-specific probabilities of clinical pregnancy based on two studies with imperfect measures of ovulation, Human Reproduction, Volume 14, Issue 7, July 1999, Pages 1835–1839